How to respond when she says she needs time to get over her ex

She's telling you this because she likes you enough to be fair about it. She's not saying 'never contact me again'. She's saying 'I have unfinished emotional business and I owe you honesty about that'. The specificity matters. If she's vague about why or how long, she may not have processed it much yet. If she's concrete about it, she's thought this through.

Her telling you now, rather than fading out or dating you while hung up on someone else, means she has integrity. This doesn't change the fact that you two can't move forward right now. But it tells you something about who she is.

Your reply needs to do two things. First, acknowledge that what she said made sense and that you heard her. Don't minimize it or try to problem-solve it away. Second, make a clear choice about your own boundaries. You're not saying 'I'll wait forever'. You're saying 'I respect this and I'm going to step back'.

The move is to be brief and direct. Don't write a paragraph. Don't ask follow-up questions about her ex. Don't negotiate or ask what you should do in the meantime. Just confirm you get it, and then actually step back. Stop texting her every day. Don't check on her progress. This is the hard part because it shows you meant what you said.

Send your reply the same day she tells you this, while it's fresh. Don't overthink it for three days. Keep it short enough that you sound calm, not devastated.

After you send it, do not text her again for at least a few weeks. None of the 'just checking in' texts. None of the memes or song links. If she reaches out to you, you can respond, but keep it light and brief. If she's moving on and gets interested again later, she'll find a way to tell you. If she never does, you have your answer. The timeline here isn't up to you, so stop trying to monitor it. Six weeks of silence is normal. Three months is normal.