How to reply when he makes plans without checking your schedule first

Making plans without asking first isn't usually about disrespect. It's often about someone assuming you'll rearrange things for him or not realizing that consulting matters. But the effect is the same: your availability becomes secondary.

Read this as a signal about how he handles decisions. If he does this with big plans, he likely does it with smaller stuff too. Pointing it out now prevents a pattern where you're always accommodating while he decides. It's not about this one concert. It's about whether he sees you as someone whose time he needs to check on.

Your reply needs to do two separate jobs. First, answer the actual question: Can you go or not? Be clear on that part alone. Second, add one sentence that addresses the process. Don't soften it with apologies or lengthy reasoning. Say something like 'Going forward, I need you to check my schedule before booking things' or 'I'd appreciate if you asked before making plans that include me.'

This isn't harsh. It's just explicit. Most people respond well to directness because it removes confusion. He'll know exactly what you need instead of guessing whether you're upset about the concert or the way he did it.

Send your reply within a few hours of getting his message. Waiting longer makes it seem like you're stewing or planning to bring it up in person, which creates tension. A quick, calm response shows you're not upset, just setting a standard.

If he doesn't acknowledge the boundary or keeps making unasked plans after you've said something, that's different. Then you know it's not accidental. But give him one clear chance to adjust. If he does go along with it after that, move on and don't keep score. People change habits when they understand what someone needs.