What to Say When She Says She's Swamped With Family This Week

She's told you the reason. A house full of visitors means her evenings belong to them, her phone sits on a counter, and replies arrive in bursts at odd hours. Her message is a heads up that gaps are coming, and it's also her signalling that she still wants to talk, otherwise she wouldn't bother explaining.

What tells you more is what she does with the rest of her message. If she closes with something like talk soon, or mentions a specific thing you'd discussed, she's keeping the thread warm. If she sends only a one-word apology, the thread is cooling for now and you should match her pace rather than fill the space.

Your reply should be easy to read in ten seconds and needs no answer. A message that asks nothing gives her permission to read it later and reply whenever she can, which is exactly what she needs this week. Anything with a question at the end creates a small debt she'll feel every time she looks at her phone.

It also helps to show you're not waiting around. A brief reference to something of your own going on, or a light comment on the chaos she described, makes you seem settled. Keep it to one or two sentences and stop.

Once you've sent the reply, the most useful thing is to leave it alone. Visitors usually leave within a few days, and her messages tend to come back in the evening once the house quiets down. You don't need to check your phone for a response.

If she doesn't come back after the visit ends, send one short, low-pressure message a few days later that refers to something specific she told you, with no request attached. If that also goes unanswered, let it drop and wait for her to start again. Don't send a third message to fix the silence.