She says she'd love a drink but has book club: what to say back

A standing commitment like book club is a sign she has a life with fixed points in it, and that is a good sign for planning. It tells you what night is off the table and suggests the other nights are open, which is more information than 'another time' gives you. Read the 'maybe another time' that comes attached as a soft placeholder, not a deadline she has actually set.

What would make this a warning sign is if she names the constraint and then offers nothing: no alternative, no suggestion of when, and no warmth in the wording. A keen person who is blocked usually says something like 'Friday would work' or 'I'm free most evenings except Thursdays'. If she has given you a day, a time, or even a hint of which nights are free, she is trying to make the plan work. Take that seriously.

The reply needs to do three things. It should accept the book club without any tone of disappointment, because disappointment makes her feel she has let you down and gives her a reason to hedge. It should offer one specific alternative night, phrased as a plan you are already making rather than a question about her availability. And it should name where, or at least what kind of place, so the next step is simply a yes or no.

Keep the alternative close to the original. If you suggested a weeknight, offer a different weeknight, or a weekend afternoon if that suits you both. Avoid making it a bigger ask than the drink she already said she wanted. The lower the effort to say yes, the more likely she does. Tie it to something she mentioned earlier if you have something to hook it on, since that shows you were listening and makes the offer feel less generic.

If she replies with a clear yes, confirm the day and time once, then leave it alone. Do not send a string of logistics messages the week before. If she goes quiet after you have proposed a specific night, wait a full day before anything else, because people often answer later in the evening or the next morning. Sending a second message within an hour reads as anxious.

If there is still no reply after a day, send one short follow-up that gives her an easy out and a clear next step, such as a message that says the offer stands and she can pick a different night. Then stop. If that also goes unanswered, let it drop for a week or two. A later message with a fresh idea, sent without reference to the earlier plan, is fine. Repeating the same ask over and over is what turns interest into pressure and ends it.