What to Say When He Asks if You're Seeing Other People

This question almost always means he wants to get exclusive but needs to know if you're on the same page first. He could also be checking if he's wasting time. Either way, he's trying to lower his risk before he actually asks for exclusivity. The fact that he's asking tells you he's thinking about you in that frame. Men who aren't interested don't ask this. Pay attention to the gap between how he treats you and what he's asking. If he's been slow or inconsistent but suddenly asking about other people, he might just be nervous about losing you to someone better, not actually committed yet.

Your reply has to give him a straight answer first. Tell him whether you are or aren't seeing other people, and don't soften it with maybes or explanations that blur the line. Then ask him why he's asking or what he's looking for. This second part matters because it forces him to say what he actually wants instead of just testing you. He needs to put in the work of asking for exclusivity, not just finding out you're available. If he wanted it, he would ask directly. Your question makes that real.

Don't sit on this question for more than 24 hours. The longer you wait, the more it looks like you're avoiding it or that his words don't matter. Send it when you have time to actually engage if he replies quickly. If he doesn't answer your follow-up question within 48 hours, or if he answers your part but dodges his own commitment, that tells you something real about his interest level. You can follow up once, but after that you need to decide whether you're okay dating someone who won't actually talk about what he wants. Don't keep asking the same question hoping for a different answer.