What to say when he tells you he's still messaging other matches
How to respond when a guy mentions he's talking to other people on dating apps. Keep your reply honest and filter for real interest.
When he brings up that he's still chatting with other matches, he's either being transparent about where his head is at, testing how you react, or clearing space to keep his options open. This is information. Your job is to stay grounded and find out whether he's actually interested in you or just keeping you warm.
A good reply does two things at once. It shows you're not rattled or desperate, and it gets him to clarify what he wants. You're not fighting for exclusivity yet. You're just deciding if he's worth your time while he's divided.
Get replies that sound like you
Screenshot the conversation in WingAI. It reads the vibe and gives you natural replies for this exact situation.
Try for freeRizz AI Screenshot the chat and get the next message for this person.
When he mentions other matches, he's either moving forward or hedging
Some guys bring this up early because they actually want to focus on you and they're being honest about the transition. Others say it because they want to keep you interested while they figure out their options. The way to tell the difference is action, not words.
If he's already trying to make plans to see you, he's leaning in. If he just mentioned it casually or defensively, he's probably keeping things loose. Pay attention to whether he follows the confession with a concrete next step, like a specific date or time. That's what separates intent from just making conversation.
Your reply should acknowledge it without matching his energy
You don't need to get defensive or immediately reassure him. You also don't need to tell him you're talking to other people unless he asks directly. What you're doing is staying calm and pointing the conversation toward something real. The move is simple: acknowledge what he said, then set a small expectation. Either ask him directly if he wants to make plans, or respond in a way that shows you're still interested but not waiting around.
This filters fast. If he's actually into you, he'll either commit to seeing you soon or disappear. Both outcomes are useful information.
Text back today, then watch what he does with the next 48 hours
Send your reply the same day, while the conversation is fresh. Don't overthink the timing. What matters is what comes next. If he suggested dinner, he should follow up with a specific day and time within a day or two. If he didn't make concrete plans, he probably won't.
Give him one follow-up window. If he goes quiet for more than three days after you replied, or if he keeps texting but never moves toward meeting you, stop investing. You're looking for someone who mentions other matches and then immediately works to take you off the market. Everyone else is just taking up space in your phone.
Why these replies fail
“Oh that's cool, no pressure. I'm talking to other people too so whatever works for you.”
This sounds like you're defensive or scared of commitment, not like you're calmly filtering.
“Okay so should I stop talking to other people then? I can do that if you want.”
You're offering exclusivity before he's even asked, which signals low confidence and gives him control.
“That's honestly kind of disappointing to hear. I thought you were different.”
This guilt-trips him and makes the conversation about managing his feelings instead of figuring out what he wants.
Common mistakes
- Pretending you don't care or playing it cool so hard he can't tell you're interested
- Immediately agreeing to be exclusive or cutting other people off to prove something
- Getting upset or accusing him of stringing you along before you've even met
- Over-explaining why you're also talking to other people, like you need permission
- Changing the subject instead of acknowledging what he said
Questions people ask
- Should I tell him I'm also talking to other people?
- Only if he asks. If he brings it up unprompted, he's either being transparent or testing you. Mirroring him immediately looks like you're either defensive or copying. Stay quiet on it unless he directly asks what you're doing. Then be honest.
- Does mentioning other matches mean he's not interested in me?
- Not necessarily. Some people are just being upfront about the transition period. What matters is whether he follows up with actual plans to see you. Words mean less than actions here. Watch the next 48 hours.
- How do I bring up exclusivity if he keeps talking to other people?
- Don't bring it up. Let him bring it up after you've actually spent time together in person. If you've gone on several dates and he's still mentioning other matches, that's your sign to step back. He's not moving toward you.
- What if he says this but then never makes plans to see me?
- That's your answer. He told you what he's doing (keeping options open) and then showed you what he wants (to text without commitment). Stop replying as much. You're being kept warm, not pursued.
What people say after using WingAI
“I overthink every text. Having three options and picking the one that sounds like me cut that spiral short.”
Sam R.
“I was skeptical at first. Then I tried it on a dry chat and the replies actually sounded like me, not a chatbot.”
Mazoonx
“I'm busy and half the profiles give you almost nothing to work with. WingAI gets me a solid first line fast without me staring at the screen for ten minutes.”
Ralph
Get replies that sound like you
Screenshot the conversation in WingAI. It reads the vibe and gives you natural replies for this exact situation.
Try for free