Why he acts interested then disappears: reading the pattern

Interest isn't measured by how animated someone is when they're actively texting. It's measured by follow-through over time. A guy who's actually interested keeps showing up, even if he gets busy. Four days of silence after constant contact means something changed on his end. Either the initial intensity was unsustainable, or something made him reconsider. Don't rewrite the last four days as an anomaly. Treat it as new data. When someone goes cold suddenly, the cold is the real signal. The hot part might have been real in the moment, but it didn't stick.

Your reply needs to do exactly two things. First, acknowledge time passing without making it weird or accusatory. This isn't about guilt-tripping him or calling out the silence. Second, give him a clear, low-friction way to either re-engage or exit. Something like a question about something he mentioned, or a reference to a plan you discussed, works. The move is light, specific, and brief. No 'I'm not sure what happened' or 'I really liked talking to you.' Those invite explanation or sympathy, not action. You're testing whether he's still available and whether he'll meet you halfway.

Send your one reply during the day when he's likely awake. Then set a boundary on how long you'll wait. If you heard from him constantly before, a reasonable window is 24 to 48 hours. If he doesn't respond or sends something short and vague, that's your answer. Don't send a follow-up. Don't check in after a few days. You already reopened the door once. If he doesn't walk through it, he doesn't want to. The longer you keep the door open without him meeting it, the more you train yourself to accept half-effort. After one no-response, move forward with dating other people. Let him come back if he actually wants to. If he does come back weeks later, you get to decide if you're still interested.