She claims exclusivity but flirts with other guys around you

Exclusivity is a verbal commitment. Behavior under social pressure shows what she actually values moment to moment. When she said exclusive, she likely meant it in that moment. But when other men are present and giving her attention, she reverted to old patterns. Seeking validation, staying in the game, or testing whether you're secure.

This isn't necessarily malice. It's also not nothing. The fact that she can compartmentalize the exclusivity talk from flirting with others tells you she either doesn't see a conflict between them (red flag for different definitions of exclusivity) or she does see it and doesn't feel bound by it when it's inconvenient (worse flag).

What matters right now: you need to know if she's playing a role with you or if she doesn't understand that exclusive means closed. Her reaction to a calm call-out will show you which one it is.

Your reply needs to do two things. First, describe exactly what you saw without interpretation. She was touching his arm, laughing loudly, gave out her contact. Don't say she was flirting or being disrespectful. Just paint the picture. Second, connect it directly to the exclusivity conversation by saying something like, 'When you said you wanted exclusive, I understood that to mean you're not courting other guys. Last night didn't match that.'

Then stop. Don't ask if she likes him. Don't ask why she did it. Don't explain how it made you feel. She knows what she did. Now she has to decide whether she meant what she said about exclusivity or whether she needs something different from you. Your job is to make the choice clear, not to convince her to choose you.

This conversation is too big for text. Send a message saying you want to talk about something that came up, then call her or meet her somewhere you can see her face. Over the phone works if you can't meet soon. Text can distort tone and gives her time to build a defensive script.

Before you send anything, know what you actually need. If exclusive means no phone numbers to other guys, say that. If it means no flirting at all, know that's your standard. If you find out her definition is different, you have to be willing to walk. The conversation isn't about punishing her. It's about finding out if you two are actually aligned. If she minimizes it again, gets defensive, or says 'you're being insecure', that's your answer. No second talk required.