Is It Okay to Text Her If She Never Starts a Conversation?

Start by separating two things: she is not starting conversations, and she is not responding. Someone who never opens a thread but answers within a day with a real sentence is telling you texting is a low-effort channel for her, and you can work with that. Someone who takes three days to send one word, or who lets your messages sit unanswered, is telling you something different. Look at the last five or six exchanges and ask who asked the last question in each, how long replies took, and whether her messages ever got longer than a line.

If she does reply, the pattern is usually a slow, low-maintenance texter, and your job is to make the thread easy to answer. If she replies to some messages and ignores others, the ignored ones probably had nothing to grab onto. Her own messages also count. A person who sends a photo of her dinner with a question attached is signalling more than one who only ever confirms plans.

A reply here has to do three things. It has to be easy to respond to, it has to refer to something specific she already knows about, and it has to not require her to carry the conversation. A question with a clear answer, like whether she went to the thing she mentioned last week, works far better than an open invitation to talk about her life. A reference to a shared detail shows you were paying attention without making her feel watched.

It also helps to keep the message short enough that a one-word reply is a complete and acceptable answer. If she answers and you can ask one more small question, you have a thread. If she answers and the thread ends, that is fine too. Do not add a second question stacked on the first, because that doubles the effort she has to make to reply.

Wait at least a day before sending another message after a reply that never came, and two or three days if the thread was already slow. Send one follow-up that is lighter than the first, such as a short observation or a link she might like, and do not comment on the silence. If she responds at all, even briefly, you can go back to a normal rhythm.

If that follow-up also goes unanswered, stop initiating for a while. A week or two of quiet from you tells you more than another message would. If she then comes back on her own, the thread was just dormant. If she does not, you have your answer about where she is, and continuing to text is only going to make the silence feel more awkward for both of you.