Is it bad to ask what they're looking for early dating

When someone says something like "just seeing where things go" or "open to whatever", your brain treats it as evasive. It often isn't. Most people don't know what they want three days in. They're being honest.

The difference between a good sign and a red flag is whether they engage with the question at all. Someone who says "honestly not sure yet, but I'm not looking for anything rushed" is giving you useful info. Someone who ignores the question entirely or flips it back to you repeatedly is avoiding the topic. That's the actual signal to read.

A good response acknowledges their answer and briefly states your own leaning without sounding like you've already decided they fit your plan. You're describing what you're open to, not what you need from them.

Don't agree with whatever they said just to keep the conversation going. If they said casual and you want something longer term, say so. If you're flexible, say that instead. The goal is to give both of you real information, not to make them feel comfortable. That honesty is what keeps you from wasting time later.

Timing matters more than you think. Asking via text before you've hung out at all looks premature. Asking on date one reads anxious. By date three or four, you have enough signal to make it a real question.

If they bring it up first, answer directly and without overthinking it. If weeks pass and the conversation never comes up naturally, you can raise it. Don't let it sit past date five or six without some clarity. If they shut down the conversation when you ask, that's your answer about their interest level. Move on rather than push.