How to reply when she asks questions but never opens up

An interview has one person asking and one person answering. A conversation has both people revealing things. When she asks questions but never volunteers information, she's keeping you at arm's length while gathering data. This might be a safety thing, where she vets people carefully. It might be a control thing, where she likes asking more than answering. Or it might be disinterest, where she's not thinking of you as someone worth being vulnerable with yet.

None of these are your fault. But they are signals you need to read. If she's interested in you, she'll start sharing when you ask. If she dodges or deflects every time the focus comes back to her, the imbalance won't fix itself.

Don't refuse to answer. That makes you look guarded or rude. Instead, answer her question directly and briefly, then ask her something that requires a real answer. Pick something that can't be answered with a yes or no. Ask for her opinion, her reasoning, her story. Avoid questions about hobbies or facts, what she does, and lean toward questions about her world or feelings, what she thinks.

The goal is to make it obvious that you're waiting for her to show you something real. If she keeps bouncing the question back to you or giving one-word answers, you have your answer about how much effort she's actually willing to put in.

Give it three cycles of you answering and asking before you assume the pattern won't change. Sometimes people need a few rounds before they feel safe enough to open up. But if by the third time she's still deflecting or steering back to asking about you, stop carrying the conversation. Your next message should be shorter, warmer, but not a question. Send something like "Seems like you've got a lot on your plate." Then wait for her to reach out and volunteer something.

If she goes silent or comes back only with more one-sided questions, she's not invested. Move on. Conversations that only work one direction don't get better on their own.