How to respond when they text again after days of silence

Days of radio silence followed by a sudden 'Hey' is a pattern. It means you're not front-of-mind. They cycled back because they had a thought, were bored, felt lonely, or realized you weren't going to chase them. None of these are bad reasons to text someone, but they tell you where you stand. You're not a priority. That's fine. Your job is to decide if you're willing to be a backup option and, if not, to behave like someone with better things going on. The message itself doesn't matter much. What matters is what happens next.

A good reply is short enough that it shows you have somewhere to be. It's warm but not grateful. It answers what they asked without over-delivering. Don't write multiple sentences. Don't ask them where they've been. Don't apologize for anything. Don't write back the same day unless something legitimately comes up and you happen to be on your phone. The subtext of a delayed, one-sentence reply is 'I'm fine, my life goes on, and I'm not sitting here waiting.' That's the only tone that makes sense after they disappeared on you.

After you reply, they'll either message you again within a day or two, or they'll go quiet again. If they message back quickly and keep the conversation going, they're re-engaging. If they don't, they've confirmed that this isn't going anywhere and you've wasted no energy on it. The mistake people make is checking their phone obsessively or double-texting to keep things alive. Don't. If three or four days pass with no reply from them, you have your answer. At that point, don't text again. If they come back a second time after another silence, the pattern is clear and so is your move: stay polite, stay brief, and keep expecting less.