How to Reply When He Texts Something Mean as a Joke

Look at how the message fits into the conversation so far. If he's been warm, asking questions and following up on things you've said, a single sharp line is more likely clumsy humour than an attack. If the teasing is the main thing he does, with little interest in you otherwise, the joke is telling you how he sees you.

Also notice the target. Teasing about something you shared openly, like a hobby or a habit you laughed about, is different from a dig at something you were clearly sensitive about. If you said "I'm bad at parking" as a self-deprecating aside and he ran with it, that's one thing. If he picked a spot you'd already said embarrassed you, he knew where the bruise was.

Your reply works best when it describes what happened on your end and leaves his character out of it. "That one landed weird for me" gives him information. "You're so rude" gives him something to argue with. The first invites him to respond to your experience. The second makes the next message about defending himself.

Keep it short enough that it reads as a small honest moment rather than a conversation you've been rehearsing. One sentence of "this stung a bit" is usually enough. If you want to be warmer about it, you can add that you still want to talk, but don't add a reassurance that you're fine with it, because that cancels the point.

The reply itself matters less than what happens next. If he apologises, or says something like "oh no, sorry, that wasn't meant that way," he's showing you he cares how you feel, and you can move on. If he says "lighten up" or "it was a joke" and then keeps teasing you in the same tone, he's telling you that your feelings are an inconvenience.

You're not owed a perfect apology. But one exchange where he ignores the point is a useful signal. Two or three of those, and you have your answer about whether he's going to be a good match for someone who doesn't enjoy being mocked.