How to Reply on Hinge When She Says She Taught Herself Guitar in Lockdown
How to reply on Hinge when she mentions teaching herself guitar during lockdown. Read what she's signalling and how to respond without going flat.
She's telling you something about how she spent a hard stretch of her life. Teaching yourself an instrument during lockdown usually means a lot of quiet evenings, some frustration, and a moment or two where it clicked. She's sharing that because it mattered to her, and she's checking whether you'll engage with the actual thing or just tick a box.
A good reply shows you heard the detail and find it interesting enough to ask about. That means picking something specific she said, like the particular song she's learning or the fact that she did it alone, and asking a question that only she can answer. You're not trying to impress her with your own guitar story, and you're not trying to turn the moment into a conversation about lockdown in general.
Keep the reply light and curious. The goal is for her to want to tell you more, and for the exchange to feel like two people talking rather than a quiz.
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Lockdown guitar is usually a private project
When someone says they taught themselves guitar during lockdown, she is often describing something she did mostly alone, probably late at night or in a spare room, for reasons that were partly about getting through the time. The detail she chose to share, the YouTube tutorials, the barre chords she still struggles with, suggests she is comfortable with a bit of self-deprecation and happy to show the unfinished parts. That is a good sign. She is not presenting herself as a finished musician. She is presenting a process.
Read the specifics as your clues. A vague mention of music is a general invitation. A named struggle is a door she has opened on purpose. Your reply should walk through the door she left open, not a door you would prefer.
Pick the detail she cared about
Her message usually contains one thing she clearly enjoyed or found hard. In the example, that is the barre chords. Your reply should show you noticed that and find it a real problem worth talking about, because most people who have tried guitar know exactly how painful barre chords are. Asking how she's getting on with them, or whether the pain in her fingers ever eased off, gives her an easy, specific thing to answer.
Avoid replying to the general fact that she plays. Everyone who has ever touched a guitar hears that all the time. The specific frustration is the thing that makes her feel listened to.
Keep the question about her, not the pandemic
Lockdown is a loaded topic for a lot of people. Some found it lonely, some found it hard, some are tired of it entirely. A question about how the lockdown went for her, or what the first few months were like, can pull the conversation somewhere heavier than a first match should go. Stay with the guitar and the way she went about learning it. If she wants to talk about lockdown, she will bring it up.
A light question about what she's working on now keeps things moving forward and gives her room to talk about her current life rather than the past two years.
Why these replies fail
“Nice! I play too, I've been playing for years. Do you have a favourite band?”
It turns her detail into a stage for your own experience, then asks a generic question that ignores what she actually said.
“Lockdown was rough for everyone. How did you cope with it?”
It skips her guitar entirely and asks her to revisit a heavy period, which can feel like a sudden shift in tone.
“Cool.”
It gives her nothing to respond to, so the conversation dies on arrival.
Common mistakes
- Replying with only a compliment like "that's cool" and nothing to pick up on
- Jumping straight to your own guitar history or a claim you can play too
- Asking a generic question about lockdown that drags the mood down
- Sending a long paragraph when a short message would land better
- Asking which song she plays without showing you know anything about the instrument
Questions people ask
- Is it okay to say I can also play guitar?
- Yes, but only if it's true and brief, and only after you've asked her a question about her own playing. Lead with curiosity about her journey, then mention your experience in a sentence if it fits. If she asks you about it, you'll have room to say more. If you lead with your own history, she may feel her detail was treated as a prompt for you to talk.
- Should I ask her to play something for me?
- Not in the first few messages. Asking for a recording at this stage can feel like pressure, especially for someone who learned alone and may be self-conscious about it. Wait until you've had a real back and forth, and then you can ask in a way that makes it easy for her to say no.
- How long should I wait before replying to her guitar message?
- Reply within the same day if you can, since she shared something personal and a long gap can make it feel like you didn't care. If you're busy, a short acknowledgement with a question is enough to keep things going, and you can expand later. Don't send a long reply hours after she sent something quick, as it can feel out of proportion.
- What if she doesn't seem interested in talking about the guitar further?
- Take the cue. If her reply is short or she changes the subject, follow her lead and move on to another topic from her profile. Keep the conversation going if she's still engaged, but don't keep circling back to the guitar. A conversation that drifts to something else is still a good conversation.
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