How to handle a casual 'we're seeing other people' mention in a what-are-we talk

The word he uses is less important than the fact that he brought it up at all. People who are exclusive in their own head rarely raise the topic in a passing text. A mention like this usually means the question has been on his mind and he wanted it out on the table before things got deeper. That is useful information, even if it sounds light.

Read the rest of the message too. If he says he does not want to be weird about it, he is aware it might sting and he is trying to keep it easy. If he hedges with "yet" or "for now," he is leaving the door open to change his mind. If he attaches it to a specific detail, like having a date planned this week, he is being concrete. Each of these tells you something different about how settled he is.

Before you reply, be clear on what you want from this. Do you want something exclusive and you are hoping he will come around? Are you fine with seeing each other while he sees other people? Or is this a dealbreaker that means you should end things now? Your reply will be easier to write once you know which of these is true, because the honest answer depends on it.

This also means accepting that he may not want what you want. That is hard to hear, but the most useful thing a reply can do is surface that difference early, while it is still cheap to act on it.

Give him a real answer, then watch what he does in the days that follow. Does he come back to the question, or does he let it drop? If you asked what he wants and he answered clearly, you have something to work with. If he went vague, a second, simpler question usually brings it out: "Are you thinking we'd keep seeing each other, or just keep things open?" He should be able to answer that in one line.

If a few days pass and the topic stays unresolved, do not keep re-raising it every time you talk. One clear follow-up is reasonable. After that, let his actions answer the question, and decide how much more of that you are willing to tolerate.