How to get her number when she wants video calls first

When she writes that she likes video calls before meeting, read it as a boundary about process rather than a judgment about you. Many people who ask for this have had a match turn out to be someone else, or have simply learned that a five minute call tells them more than a week of texts. The phrasing "no offence" or "helps me feel comfortable" is her telling you the request is about her comfort, not your character.

That means you should not read her preference as lukewarm interest. She has already told you she wants to talk to you, otherwise she would not be proposing a call at all. What she has not told you yet is whether she is going to follow through, and that depends on whether the call feels easy to set up. Read the energy of her earlier messages too. If she has been replying with questions and details, she is interested and just careful. If her replies have been one word for a while, the video call request may be her way of slowing things down.

The reply has three jobs. First, it has to accept the video call preference without argument, so she does not have to defend it. Second, it has to propose the call in a way that makes sense for her schedule, which usually means offering a window rather than a single time. Third, it has to move the number exchange into the practical part of setting up the call, so the number reads as a scheduling detail rather than a new step in the relationship.

Keep the number ask small and tied to the call. If the app allows in-app video or a link, you can offer that, but many people prefer a phone number for calls, so asking for hers and offering yours is the normal exchange. Make it a two way swap so it does not feel like you are taking something from her. Your reply should sound like someone organising a call, not someone negotiating a phone number.

Give her a full day before you follow up, and up to two days if the app is quiet on both sides. People who ask for video calls first are often busy or deliberately slow, so a fast nudge reads as impatience. If she replies to your proposal with a time or a yes, you are done with the setup and should confirm the details once and then leave it.

If there is no reply after your first message, send one short follow up that restates the call offer in a single line and gives her an easy out. Something that makes it clear the call is still open and there is no pressure to answer. After that, stop. Two unanswered messages with no reply is the signal to move on, and you should close the thread rather than leave a third message hanging. Keep the last message kind and brief so the thread ends cleanly.