How to get her number after she says she's a night owl who prefers texting

When she says she's a night owl and prefers texting, she's describing her rhythm. She isn't saying no to you. She's saying that late evening text is where she's comfortable and where she actually shows up. That's useful information. It tells you when her replies will be longest and most relaxed, and it tells you that a phone call during her working hours would probably feel like an interruption to her.

Read the phrase "prefers texting" carefully though. It means she likes this format for now, not that she's refusing numbers forever. Plenty of people who prefer texting are still happy to swap numbers once they feel a bit of momentum. The mistake is treating her preference as a closed door. Treat it as a description of how she engages, and build your next step around that.

A phone number is a bigger ask than another message, so it needs a clear purpose. If you're both on the app, the best reason is usually something concrete tied to the conversation: a place you both mentioned, a plan you're loosely making, or a thing she said she wanted to try. The number should make the plan easier to coordinate, not just make it possible for you to message her outside the app.

Keep the move low-pressure. Mention the thing you're trying to do, then let her decide whether the number is the simplest way to do it. If she already said she likes late-night texting, you can even fold that in: you're not changing the channel, you're just moving the same conversation to a place that doesn't get buried in app notifications. She'll usually respond to a reason she can see, and she'll hesitate if the request feels like it's about you wanting access.

Her night owl window is probably your best window. If she's been replying late in the evening, send your message in that same stretch rather than at a random morning time when she's likely offline and busy. Sending something that lands when she's already in the conversation is the difference between a reply and a read receipt.

If she doesn't answer, leave it alone for at least a day before trying again, and don't turn the second message into a reminder that you're waiting. If the second attempt also goes unanswered, let the thread rest. A week of silence after a number request usually means she isn't interested in moving off the app yet. Stop there rather than sending a third message that sounds like a follow-up email. You can always pick the conversation back up naturally later when there's a new reason to talk.