How to ask him for exclusivity when he's into you but won't commit

If he wanted exclusivity, he would have said it by now. People who want to be with someone tell them. The vagueness isn't shyness. It's either that he's undecided about you, he's exploring other people, or he knows what he wants but doesn't want to lose access to you without commitment.

His actions have been consistent. Three months of regular hangouts and good energy is information. But so is the fact that he hasn't defined anything. Don't interpret the effort he does show as a substitute for the conversation he won't have. They're separate things.

A good reply does two things. First, it names exclusivity directly so there's no room to pretend you meant something else. Second, it frames it as your requirement, not a question about his feelings. This isn't 'Do you want to be exclusive?' It's 'I'm looking for exclusivity and I need to know if that's something you want too.'

Then stop talking. Don't soften it. Don't add reasons why he should want it. Don't minimize what you're asking for. Let him sit with what you actually said and respond to that.

Send it when he can actually focus, not late night or mid-week chaos. Give him a real week to respond. Not three days of radio silence then a follow-up. A week.

If he doesn't respond or gives you 'I need to think about it' past that window, that's him saying no without the discomfort of saying no. You don't need to ask again. At that point you decide whether you keep things as they are or step back. Repeating the question just teaches him that vagueness works on you.