How to ask if he wants to take next steps together

If he's keeping things light and surface level, or only texting late at night, or using phrases like "see where things go", he's either still exploring his options or not thinking about the future yet. That's data. He's not being cruel by texting casually. He might like you and still not be ready for a commitment talk. Don't confuse his current pace with a final answer.

If he's making plans in advance, asking about your week, remembering details you mentioned, and texting at normal hours, he's probably more invested. Those are signs he's thinking about you outside of dates. That's the environment where asking about next steps actually works.

You need to signal interest in something more concrete without forcing a define-the-relationship speech right now. The best way is to mention something slightly future-facing in a low-pressure way. Suggest meeting friends, going on a longer trip together, or doing something that requires more planning than a random weekend drink. Then watch how he responds.

If he's into it, you've created the opening. If he dodges or goes vague, you have your answer without ever asking "so what are we?" His actions will tell you what he wants. After he's responded to that invitation, you can be more direct about exclusivity or commitment if the moment feels right.

Give it one real ask, not a confrontation but a real question posed when you're both calm and talking. Text doesn't work for this. Pick a moment after a date, or over a call. Then give him a few days to process and respond. If he avoids the conversation, gets defensive, or keeps saying "I don't know", that's your answer. You can't force someone to be ready.

If you're weeks or months in and he still won't talk about it, stop bringing it up and start pulling back. Don't announce that you're leaving. Just invest less energy. After two weeks of reduced effort, if nothing changes, you have the information you need. Move on.