He went quiet after you asked if something was wrong: what to do

Look at what the gap actually looks like. If he normally answers within a few hours and has gone three days without a word, that's a real change in rhythm. If he's always been slow and this is his usual pace, the silence tells you almost nothing. Compare it to his baseline, not to your hopes.

Also look at what happened in the exchange right before he stopped. Did he give a short reply that felt like a closed door, or did the conversation end on something warm? A deflection like "all good" followed by silence reads differently from a message that trailed off mid-thought. The most useful signal is whether he's gone quiet only with you or whether he's also dropped off in other places, like not posting, not reacting, or going dark in group chats. If he's gone quiet everywhere, it's probably about his life. If it's only you, it's worth thinking harder about what the question did.

Your next message has to do a few specific jobs. First, it should make clear you're not chasing an explanation. A message that reads as "I'm just checking in, no pressure to say anything" lowers the stakes. Second, it should be easy to respond to in a single line, so he doesn't have to construct a whole answer to reply at all. Third, it should keep the rest of the conversation normal enough that the earlier question doesn't become the entire subject.

The move that usually backfires is treating his silence as the topic. If you bring it up directly again, you turn a passing moment into a conversation he now has to manage. Instead, bring something real, a small thing that happened to you or a question about something you know he cares about, and let the warmth of that do the work. You're signalling that the connection still exists without asking him to account for the gap.

Timing matters more than most people think. Send your follow-up during the part of his day when he's likely to be free, not late at night when a text can feel like a demand. If you've been talking mostly in the evenings, pick a midday moment instead, so it reads as a casual thought rather than a late-night push.

Wait at least a full day before sending anything after the silence, and two days is a reasonable window if the gap was already a few days long. If he answers, match his length and energy rather than leaning in harder. If he doesn't answer after one follow-up, let it rest. A single additional light message after a week is fine if the conversation was meaningful to you, but stop there. Continuing to message into silence tells him you can't tolerate the gap, which is exactly the feeling that makes people pull further back. Stopping after one or two attempts keeps your dignity intact and leaves the door open without standing in it.