How to reply when he wants to see other people too
He's open to dating others. Understand what that means and how to respond without over-investing or shutting down options.
When someone tells you they want to see other people too, they're either being honest about not being exclusive, testing whether you'll accept less, or actually interested in keeping things open while exploring. The word 'too' matters. It means he's noticed you might be doing the same, or he's preempting you doing it.
A good reply does two things at once. It acknowledges what he's said without pretending it doesn't change anything. And it keeps you in control of what you actually want, not what feels polite to accept. You're not rejecting him or agreeing to a deal you haven't thought through.
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Why he's saying this now, not later
He's either removing an obstacle before it becomes a fight, or he's actually unsure about commitment and wants permission to keep looking. Either way, he's not doing this to hurt you. He's doing it because the relationship reached a point where exclusivity became possible, and he's choosing to opt out of it.
That's information. It doesn't mean you have to accept it or mirror it. But it does mean you can't ignore it and hope it changes. He's told you what he needs right now. Your reply is about what you need, not about convincing him to want something different.
State your position, then stop talking
A good reply tells him whether you're on board with that or not. You don't need to justify it, apologize, or soften it with a compliment about him. If you're fine with casual and keeping options open, say that clearly. If you want exclusivity and he doesn't, say that too. Then wait.
The mistake most people make is adding a question at the end, like you're negotiating. You're not. You're stating a boundary or a preference. Let him respond to that. Don't fill the silence by explaining why you feel this way or asking him to reconsider.
After he reads it, let real time pass
Send your reply and don't send another message for at least two or three days. If he wants to keep seeing you on those terms, he'll respond. If he wants something different, he'll say so. If he goes quiet, that's your answer too, even though it's not written.
Don't check in, don't soften your position, and don't ask if he got your message. He did. Give him time to decide whether he can accept what you said. Most people know within 24 hours. If you hear nothing after three days, he's probably hoping you'll bring it up again so he doesn't have to. You don't need to do his work.
Why these replies fail
“haha yeah that's totally fine, I'm seeing other people too lol”
It's agreeable but fake-cheerful, which signals you're not being honest about how you actually feel about this.
“ok but are you talking to someone else right now? I just want to know what I'm dealing with”
You're asking him to explain himself instead of deciding what you want, which hands him control of the conversation.
“I get it, but I really like you and I think we could be exclusive if you gave it a chance”
You're negotiating and trying to change his mind instead of accepting what he said and telling him where you stand.
Common mistakes
- Saying 'that's cool with me' when it isn't, because you think it makes you seem chill or secure
- Asking 'are you seeing someone else right now' instead of deciding what you actually want first
- Going silent to punish him or test if he chases, instead of giving a clear answer
- Agreeing to be casual while hoping he changes his mind later
- Over-explaining your own dating history to justify why he should be exclusive with you
Questions people ask
- Does 'I want to see other people too' mean he's already cheating?
- Not necessarily. He's telling you now instead of doing it behind your back. That's different from cheating. It might mean he wants permission to explore before committing, or it might mean he's unsure about you. Take what he said at face value.
- Should I tell him I'm seeing other people too if I'm not?
- No. If you're not, don't lie about it. Tell him what you actually want. You can say you want to take things slow, or you can say you're not interested in casual, but don't pretend to have options you don't have.
- What if I say no to casual and he stops texting?
- Then he's not interested in what you want. That sucks, but it's better to know now than invest months hoping he'll change. You didn't lose someone who wanted to be with you. You lost someone who wanted something you weren't offering.
- How long should I wait before deciding he's ghosted?
- Three days of silence after a clear statement from you is usually the answer. If he reads it and doesn't respond in that window, he's made his choice by not choosing. You can send one follow-up after a week if you want closure, but don't expect one.
What people say after using WingAI
“She went cold mid-week and I had no idea what to say. The reply I sent felt natural and she picked the chat back up.”
Marcus T.
“I overthink every text. Having three options and picking the one that sounds like me cut that spiral short.”
Sam R.
“I was skeptical at first. Then I tried it on a dry chat and the replies actually sounded like me, not a chatbot.”
Mazoonx
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