How to reply when he only texts to make plans

This is a choice. He's deliberately keeping contact surface-level because he either doesn't think of you between dates, isn't sure about you, or is juggling multiple people and doesn't want to create emotional texture that requires effort. Sometimes he's just emotionally lazy. The pattern itself is the message.

Pay attention to the gaps. How long does he go silent? Days or weeks? That tells you how much mental space you're taking up. If you hear from him every few days only when he wants something, he's compartmentalizing you. That's not going to change without him actively deciding to do things differently.

Answer his question, but add something that requires him to engage with you as a person, not just a plan. This doesn't mean being weird or playing hard to get. It means when you confirm or suggest a time, slip in a reason to text back that has nothing to do with logistics. A small detail about your week, something you're thinking about, a question about something he'd actually have to think about. Make replying worth his effort.

The point is to test whether he's willing to move beyond logistics. If he answers your question and goes quiet again until next time he needs you, you have your answer. If he actually engages, you've just changed the dynamic by modeling what connection looks like.

Send your reply and give it a few days. If he only responds when he wants to nail down plans again, don't keep trying to change the dynamic through text. That's exhausting and it won't work. Three or four cycles of the same behavior is enough data.

At that point you have a choice. You can accept that this is who he is and what he's offering, or you can stop making yourself available on his schedule. Don't send a message about how he never reaches out. Just stop replying as quickly, or start declining plans. He'll either notice and adjust, or he'll find someone else who's fine with it. Either way, you'll have clarity.