He suggested meeting but never nailed down the details
He said 'we should meet up' but went silent on time and place. Here's how to respond without chasing.
When a guy floats the idea of meeting without locking down specifics, it signals he's interested but disorganized, or he was just being polite and didn't mean it. Either way, silence after his suggestion puts the ball back in his court. A good reply does two jobs at once. It shows you're interested in meeting by taking him up on it. And it forces him to either commit with actual details or reveal he wasn't serious. The reply needs to be light enough that you're not overinvesting, but direct enough that there's nowhere to hide.
This is different from him going quiet after you already set a plan. This is the suspended moment before plans even exist. Your move determines whether he steps up or ghosts.
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A vague suggestion usually means low momentum
Guys who are actually interested either name a day or ask for your availability in a specific window. 'We should hang out' without a timeframe is what someone says when they like the idea of you but haven't decided to prioritize you. He's keeping the option open while staying risk-free. The silence after confirms he's not pushing forward.
This doesn't mean he's not interested. It means he's comfortable letting it die. Your reply needs to show that you're not. Not by chasing him, but by putting a real stake in the ground. A specific day, time, and activity. Now it costs something to ignore you.
Propose an actual time and place, then stop
Your reply does one thing. Name a day and suggest a concrete activity or location. Thursday drinks at the corner bar. Saturday morning coffee. Sunday afternoon walk. Pick something you'd actually want to do anyway. Don't ask him if he's free or what he prefers. State it like you're confirming something already decided.
This move forces a yes or no. He either commits or admits he wasn't serious. It also flips the dynamic from him leading to you leading, which makes him work to keep up. Keep the tone casual and brief. Don't explain why you picked that time or place. The shorter your message, the less he has to negotiate with.
Wait 48 hours before assuming he's ghosting
After you name a time and place, wait at least two days for him to respond. Guys are often slower to react than you want them to be, and jumping back in too fast reads as you chasing. If he responds within 48 hours with a yes or a counter-offer, you're in. If he responds with a non-answer like 'sounds good, I'll check my schedule,' that's him stalling and counts as a soft no.
If 48 hours pass and he hasn't responded, send exactly one follow-up. Not 'hey' or 'did you see my message.' Just drop a new suggestion or a statement of your own plans. 'No worries if you're busy. I'll be at the coffee shop Saturday around 10 if you want to join.' After that, let it go. A third message is you chasing him, and it doesn't work.
Why these replies fail
“Haha yeah that would be fun! Just let me know when you're free and I'll make it work”
You're handing him all the work and saying you'll bend around his schedule, which makes it even easier for him to do nothing.
“When are you thinking? I'm free most evenings this week”
Open-ended question with maximum availability is the opposite of what forces him to commit. He can ignore this without consequence.
“Sounds good! I'm really excited to meet you. Let me know what day works”
Showing too much enthusiasm plus deferring to him makes you easy to ghost and signals you care more than he does.
Common mistakes
- Waiting for him to suggest a time instead of naming one yourself (he won't, and now you both look inactive)
- Asking open-ended questions like 'when are you free?' that give him an easy out
- Double-texting or following up before giving him at least 48 hours to respond
- Sounding eager or over-explaining why you want to meet
- Matching his vagueness instead of introducing concrete details
Questions people ask
- Should I wait longer than 48 hours before following up?
- No. Anything longer and you're just hoping. At 48 hours you have enough signal that he's not prioritizing this. A follow-up after that tells you everything you need to know. After that second message goes unanswered, move on.
- What if he responds but suggests a different time than I offered?
- That's good. It means he engaged with your concrete proposal. Agree to his time or suggest one counter-offer. After that, you've both made moves. If he dodges again, the pattern is clear and you're done.
- Is it bad to suggest meeting a second time if the first suggestion dies?
- No. One follow-up is fair. But if that also goes unanswered or gets soft-rejected, stop. Two proposals from you and two non-commitments from him means he's not serious. Texting a third time makes it your problem, not his.
- What if I'm not sure what to suggest? Should I ask what he likes?
- Pick something you like and suggest that. Coffee, a walk, drinks. Don't make it complicated or ask him to decide. The whole point is removing his option to go passive. A specific suggestion gives him one job. Show up or say no.
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