Instagram DM opener for a journalist who runs ultramarathons
How to open an Instagram DM to a journalist who runs ultramarathons: what her profile signals, what a good first message does, and when to follow up.
She has two public identities on her profile, the writer and the runner, and most people will only reference one of them. The journalist side tends to attract a lot of pitches, hot takes, and flattery about her bylines, so a message that leans on her work often reads as one more person who wants something from her. The ultramarathon side is more personal and usually shows up as race photos, mud, headlamps, and mileage posts. Mentioning a specific race, a training block, or a bad hill she clearly wrote about tells her you looked closely at her life outside work.
A good first message does three things quickly. It shows you actually read something specific, it gives her an easy thing to respond to, and it doesn't ask her to do any work before she knows whether you're interesting. Questions that are too broad, like asking how she got into writing, are hard to answer in a DM and tend to die. Questions that are too narrow can feel like an interview. The sweet middle is a concrete observation plus a light, answerable question.
Keep the message short. A DM that reads like a cover letter, or that lists three things you have in common, makes her wonder what you want before she has decided she wants to talk to you at all.
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Her two halves are both on display
The profile is doing a lot of the signalling for you. A journalist who posts race photos, a bib number, or a trail at 3am is telling you the running is not a hobby she posts about for likes, it's a real part of her week. The writing side is more public and more likely to come with unsolicited messages, so she has probably learned to be wary of DMs that open with her work. Read which side gets more of her own enthusiasm. Long captions about a race usually mean the running is where she feels most like herself. A shared article with a single line of commentary usually means she is proud of the work but tired of people treating it as their opening line. Pick the side she clearly cares about most, and let your message be about one concrete detail from it.
Answer before you get curious
A good opener makes her feel she has been seen by someone who did a little homework, without making her feel studied. Name one specific thing: a race, a route, a distance, a photo caption, a piece of the feature that made you stop. Then ask one question she can answer in a sentence or two. 'Was the last 20 miles of that race as bad as the photos suggest?' gives her a story to tell. 'Do you train alone or with a group?' is answerable but flat. The job is to make replying feel like the easy option. Keep your own reaction brief. A single sentence about why the detail caught you is enough. If you find yourself explaining why you like her, cut it.
Reply in daylight, not at 2am
Send the message at a time when a normal person would send a normal message, which for most people is the late morning or early evening on a weekday. Late-night DMs, especially ones that mention a race or a training run, can read as more intense than you meant. After sending, give it at least three to five days before deciding anything. Silence in the first week is common and usually means she is busy, not that she has rejected you. If you don't get a reply, one short follow-up that adds something new, like a link you thought she'd like or a different question, is reasonable. After that, stop. A third message, or a message that points out she hasn't replied, makes the decision for her and it's almost always no.
Why these openers fail
“Hey, loved your piece on the tenants' union, so sharp. Are you ever going to write about the city council stuff?”
It leads with her work, asks her to plan future stories for you, and makes you sound like a reader sending feedback rather than someone interested in her.
“I'm also a runner, did a 50k last spring and a 100 miler this year. Would love to hear about your training sometime!”
It spends the message on your credentials and ends with a vague request that asks her to do all the work of starting a conversation.
“How did you get into ultras? Like what made you start?”
It asks a broad origin-story question that takes real effort to answer and shows no sign you looked at anything on her profile.
Common mistakes
- Leading with her byline or a compliment on a story, which frames you as a fan rather than a person
- Asking a broad question like 'what got you into running?' that takes effort to answer in a DM
- Listing your own running or writing credentials in the first message to show you're a match
- Sending a second and third message before she has replied to the first
- Opening with a joke about her running being 'insane' or 'unhinged', which can read as mocking the thing she takes seriously
Questions people ask
- Should I mention her writing at all in a first Instagram DM?
- Only if it's a specific detail you actually noticed, and only lightly. A general 'loved your work' tends to be ignored or read as a pitch. If you mention the piece, name a particular line, angle, or reporting choice that stood out. Keep it to one sentence. Most of the time it's stronger to lead with the running, since she is likely to have heard the writing compliments many times already.
- What if I don't run at all? Can I still message her about the running?
- Yes, but ask questions rather than pretend to know the sport. Curiosity about a specific thing she posted, like a race finish or a route, works fine without any experience. Avoid trying to sound knowledgeable about pacing, gear, or distances, because she will notice quickly. Being clearly curious and clearly a beginner is more appealing than a half-informed attempt to match her.
- How long should I wait before following up if she doesn't reply?
- Wait three to five days before any follow-up. Make the follow-up add something, such as a new question, a relevant link, or a light comment on something she posted since. Send only one follow-up. If that also goes unanswered, let it go, and don't reference the earlier messages or point out the silence.
- Is it weird to message her about the ultramarathon on Instagram rather than a dating app?
- It's not weird, but it does land differently. On Instagram you are a stranger who saw her posts, so the message needs to be lighter and less personal than it would be on a dating app where you've both opted in. Keep it short, specific, and easy to ignore. That makes it easy for her to reply without feeling pressured or wondering why you're writing.
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