What to text when he keeps bringing up his exes

Early in dating, guys often bring up exes when they're anxious, not malicious. He might be testing whether you'll judge him. He might be comparing past patterns to you without meaning to sound like it. Or he's just filling space and not thinking about what he's saying. The unprompted part is important. He's not answering your question. He's offering it up on his own.

This is different from mentioning an ex when it's relevant, like "I learned to cook because my ex was really into it." He's doing that thing where he just starts talking about someone from his past without context. That's a signal he needs a gentle boundary, not a lecture.

First, show you heard him. A simple "that sounds rough" or "yeah I get that" lands better than silence. He needs to know you didn't miss what he said. This keeps him from repeating it louder.

Second, shift the energy forward without being abrupt. You're saying, in effect, "I see your past, I'm not judging it, and I'm more interested in you now." This is done by moving to something present-tense or future-tense. It doesn't have to be romantic. It can be casual. The point is you're not engaging the ex as a topic.

One or two unprompted ex mentions in early texting is normal. If it keeps happening every few days, that's a pattern. After the third time, your replies change. Don't keep offering soft redirects. You can say something like "I notice you mention your exes a lot. Everything good?" This opens the door for him to either acknowledge it or explain. If he gets defensive or keeps doing it, that's information. You don't owe him unlimited patience with this.

In person is easier for this conversation than text. If you've been on a few dates and it's still happening, bring it up face to face. He'll read your tone better and won't get stuck in his head about what you meant.