Ask if he's dating other people without seeming insecure

You're not asking this question because you're insecure. You're asking because you need information. After a few dates or conversations, you want to know if he's actively dating other people right now, or if things have narrowed to just you two. This matters because it changes what you should expect from him and what you're comfortable offering. The confusion comes from not knowing his baseline. Early dating often does involve multiple people, so asking doesn't signal paranoia. It signals that you want clarity instead of guessing. What he's actually been doing is probably neutral data, not a referendum on how he feels about you. The risk you're reading into it is real though. If he's juggling people, that tells you something about his priorities. If he says no and you later find out that's false, that's a betrayal. So you're really asking two things at once: where do things stand, and can I trust what you tell me?

A good reply does two specific jobs. First, it names the actual thing you want to know without dressing it up in apologies or softening language. Don't ask if you're "special" to him or if he "sees a future" with you. Ask directly if he's dating other people now. Second, it has to open the door for him to say yes without him feeling judged. You do this by acknowledging that dating multiple people is normal at this stage, not shameful. Something like "I know it's early and people usually date around" removes the trap. If he thinks you'll punish him for honesty, he'll lie or dodge. You also need to tell him what you want. Do you want to be exclusive, or do you just want him to be honest moving forward? That matters. Some people feel safer saying they're dating others when they know exactly what you'll do with that information.

Send this after at least three real dates or conversations deep enough that you'd notice if he disappeared. Before that, it's premature. Over text works fine if you've been texting a lot. In person is better if you can do it naturally without it feeling staged. Wait at least a day for a reply unless he usually answers in minutes. If he ghosts this question, you have your answer. People who want to date you answer directly about exclusivity, even if the answer is "I want to keep dating around right now." Dodging means he's avoiding commitment and accountability. If he gives you a non-answer like "I really like you" without addressing the question, push once more, clearly. "I'm asking because I need to know if you're dating other people right now." If he dodges again, you're done waiting. If he says he is dating others and you want exclusivity, decide if you're okay waiting to see if things progress, or if you need to step back. Don't ask this question again after getting an answer unless the context changes.