What to text when she cancels plans without telling you

When someone flakes without telling you, they didn't decide at the last minute. They ghosted the commitment. That's different from texting an hour before and saying something came up. She either forgot about your plans, she changed her mind and couldn't face telling you, or her interest dipped. None of those are good signs, but ghosting specifically means she wasn't thinking about you or doesn't respect your time enough to give you a heads-up. This matters because it tells you how seriously she's taking this. A flake is fixable. A pattern of silent flakes is not.

Your text needs to accomplish two things and only two. First, acknowledge clearly that she flaked without letting her off the hook completely. A simple "Hey, you ghosted on me tonight" or "Didn't hear from you" makes it real. Don't pretend it didn't happen. Second, extend one specific opportunity to reschedule, but make it light and easy. Something like "rain check?" or "let me know if you still want to grab that drink." You're saying it's fine but also saying you noticed. You're not accepting silent cancellations as normal behavior while still being the person who doesn't blow up over a mistake.

Don't text her tonight when you're annoyed or sad. Text her tomorrow when you've cooled off. Morning or early afternoon works. Keep it short. Then stop. Don't send a follow-up in two days if she doesn't respond. Don't send another text in a week "just checking in." You sent the reset. She either comes back with an apology and new plans, or she doesn't. If she doesn't respond within a few days or responds casually without addressing it, you have your answer. At that point, you're not waiting. You're moving on and texting other people. A flake followed by silence is a pattern. That's when you stop initiating entirely.