What to text when he disappears for weeks then comes back asking how you've been

A 'how have you been' message after silence is not the same as the same message sent after two days of regular contact. Time away dilutes whatever connection you had. It also tells you something about his consistency and how much you factor into his baseline. If he can forget about you for weeks, his interest isn't steady. He's texting you now because something shifted on his end. Maybe he's bored. Maybe his other options dried up. Maybe he got swamped. It doesn't matter. The weeks are data. Your reply should acknowledge that you know the weeks happened, even if you don't make it confrontational.

A good reply does two things at once. It's friendly enough that you don't slam the door, but it's also clear that you won't pretend the disappearance was normal. You're matching his low energy with selective warmth. You're not cold, not eager, and not confused about what just happened. Keep your message short. Short replies to weak openers tell him you're not on high alert for his next message. You're also signaling that if he wants more from you, he needs to earn it by showing up consistently. The boundary isn't anger. It's indifference wrapped in politeness.

Don't reply for two to four hours. Let him sit with his own message for a while. If you text back in five minutes, you've rewarded his low effort. When he does get a reply, it should be brief enough that he has to work to keep the conversation going. If he goes silent again, don't chase. After two weeks of disappearance, you're not obligated to keep text momentum alive. If he suggests meeting, take time to decide. A text comeback doesn't equal earned plans. Make him re-establish consistency before you commit to seeing him. If he ghosts again after your reply, you'll already have your answer about what he is.