What to say when he's hesitant about dating before moving

The move is real but the hesitation is partly self-protection. He's trying to do the responsible thing by flagging it early instead of ghosting later. That's actually a good sign. What he's really asking is: will you resent him for leaving? Will you want different things than he can give right now?

The trap is treating his move as a threat to whatever this is. It's not. It's a fact. The real question is whether you can be interested in him without needing guarantees about what happens in four months. Most people can't, so he's weeding early.

Your reply needs to do two things at once. First, show that you heard him and the move is fine with you. Not fine in a 'I'm pretending to be cool' way, but actually fine. Second, point toward what's available right now instead of what won't be in a few months. You're not asking him to stay. You're not asking to lock anything down. You're just saying: let's do this. Let's see what happens between now and then. The move is background information, not the plot.

Send your message within a few hours of his, while the conversation is still active. Don't wait overnight or use silence as a tactic. He's being vulnerable by telling you early, and a fast response says you're taking him seriously. After you send it, stop. Let him reply on his own timeline. If he doesn't respond within 24-48 hours, that tells you something. He might be wrestling with whether to pursue this at all. A follow-up message won't help. If he goes quiet for days or a week, he's already decided the move makes this too complicated. At that point, you have your answer and can move on.