What to say when he says he needs to pump the brakes

The brake comment is information. He is naming a boundary or a need. This is good. Bad partners don't tell you anything. They just fade or cheat or make you feel crazy. What he said is direct and reasonably kind.

Don't treat it like a rejection unless he's also saying he doesn't want to see you anymore. Moving slower doesn't mean moving away. He might want to text less, see you less often, skip the sleepover, or just be less serious about the future talk. That's fixable. That's a pace adjustment, not a breakup. Read what he actually wrote, not what your anxiety is telling you it means.

A solid reply doesn't argue about whether things are moving fast. It says you heard him and you respect it. Then you make one small, concrete move that proves you mean it. This move should cost you something small, not nothing. Saying 'okay, cool' costs you nothing. Saying 'okay, cool, I won't text you until you text me' shows you actually adjusted.

You might agree that talking about the future too early was premature. You might agree that seeing each other less often makes sense. You might say you're happy to follow his lead on pace. Pick one thing that's true and one action you'll actually change. Then stop there. Don't over-commit or promise to freeze yourself out.

Don't respond immediately if you're upset or confused. Wait until you're calm enough to write something that doesn't apologize for existing. One hour minimum, four hours is fine. If it's late at night when he sends it, wait until morning to reply.

Once you send your reply, you're done. You've moved. Now it's his turn. If he responds with more detail about what slow looks like, answer that. If he goes quiet for days after you reply, that's a separate problem and you should probably check in once, maybe five days later. But if he's setting a pace, he needs to show up to that pace himself. Don't fill silences by texting more. That's the opposite of pumping the brakes.