What to say when he's seeing someone else but wants to keep dating you
He says he's talking to someone else and wants to see where it goes. How to reply without looking desperate or settling.
He's telling you he's exploring options with another person but isn't closing the door on you. This is him being honest about his timeline and hedging his bets. He's essentially asking for your patience while he figures out what he wants.
A good reply sets a boundary around your own time and energy. It doesn't pretend you're fine waiting in a queue. It leaves room for him to choose you if he actually wants to, without making him feel like you're desperate for the choice.
The goal is to sound like someone with options and self-respect. Not someone who will sit around indefinitely. You're not angry or dramatic. You're just clear about what you're looking for and what you're willing to accept right now.
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Try for freeHe's being honest about divided attention
This isn't a rejection. It's also not a commitment. He's saying he's still interested in you but he's got someone else in the picture and he hasn't eliminated either option yet. The fact that he told you rather than just ghosting or stringing you along says something about his character, even if the situation sucks.
What matters is what he does next, not what he says now. A lot of guys say this and then realize the other person isn't working out and they come back to you. Some guys mean it and you never hear from them again. Your reply doesn't need to solve this uncertainty. It just needs to keep you in a position where you're not the one waiting with your phone in your hand.
Your reply needs to avoid two traps
The first trap is acting relieved or saying you're cool with it. That makes you sound like you have no other options and you're just grateful he's still texting you. The second trap is punishing him for honesty by going cold or angry. That just makes you look petty.
Instead, acknowledge what he said without either accepting or rejecting it outright. Show that you heard him and you respect the honesty. Then pivot to your own position. You're also keeping your options open. You're not waiting on pause while he figures it out. You like him but you're not in a holding pattern. This tells him he can't have you on standby while he explores.
Send it once and then match his pace
Reply within a day or so, not immediately. You want to seem like you thought about it, not like you were sitting by your phone. Once you send your reply, don't follow up. If he responds, great. If he goes quiet for a few days, don't send another message. Let him be the one doing the chasing now.
If he comes back in a week and says things didn't work out with the other person, you get to decide if you still want to engage. If he ghosted, he made the choice for you and you move on. The point is you're not invested in the outcome. You're living your life and he can be part of it or not.
Why these replies fail
“Oh that's totally fine. I get it. Yeah let's just see what happens. No pressure at all.”
You sound relieved and desperate, like you have no self-respect and you're grateful for crumbs.
“Cool so you want to keep me as a backup while you date someone else. Got it. Good luck.”
This is punishing him for honesty and makes you look bitter instead of bouncing back stronger.
“I really like you and I don't want to lose you. Can we please talk about this. I think we have something special and I'm not sure why you'd want to keep your options open if you felt the same way...”
You're trying to convince him to pick you and you're making it emotional, which gives him power and makes you look needy.
Common mistakes
- Telling him you'll wait or that you're fine with it when you're not
- Getting angry or disappointed in your reply, which makes you look reactive
- Trying to convince him you're the better choice instead of letting him decide
- Disappearing immediately, which removes your options and closes off a real possibility
- Asking him to pick you now or sending a long message about your feelings
Questions people ask
- Does this mean I should stop dating other people too?
- No. He literally just told you he's dating other people. You're free to do exactly the same. Keep your options open, go on dates, don't put your life on pause for him. This is the opposite of settling.
- What if he asks me to wait for him?
- Don't agree to wait. You can say you like him and you're open to seeing where things go, but you're not putting your dating life on hold. If he really wants you, he'll figure out his situation faster.
- Should I ask him to let me know when he decides?
- Don't make it transactional. Just reply in a way that shows you're cool either way. If he chooses you, he'll make it clear. If you have to ask him to pick you, he's already picked someone else.
- What if I haven't been dating other people and I want to?
- This is actually a gift. His honesty gives you permission to stop pretending you're just waiting around. Start swiping, say yes to dates, focus on people who are all in on you.
- How long should I give him before I assume he's made his choice?
- Two to three weeks of reduced contact is the signal. If he goes quiet and doesn't follow up, he picked the other person. If he keeps texting you regularly, he's still interested. Your job is to stop counting the days and move forward either way.
What people say after using WingAI
“I overthink every text. Having three options and picking the one that sounds like me cut that spiral short.”
Sam R.
“I was skeptical at first. Then I tried it on a dry chat and the replies actually sounded like me, not a chatbot.”
Mazoonx
“She went cold mid-week and I had no idea what to say. The reply I sent felt natural and she picked the chat back up.”
Marcus T.
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Screenshot the conversation in WingAI. It reads the vibe and gives you natural replies for this exact situation.
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