What to say when he asks if you're seeing others but won't commit

This question only makes sense if you've already agreed to something. If you haven't defined the relationship, he's either pretending you have or he's testing whether you'll accept an undefined situation where he gets exclusivity promises and you get nothing.

Men who ask this without being willing to have a 'what are we' conversation are usually either seeing other people themselves, keeping options open on purpose, or just conflict-avoidant. In all three cases, the answer he wants doesn't solve anything. He wants reassurance without risk. Your job is to recognize that the real problem isn't whether you're seeing other people. It's that he's asking for commitment language without commitment terms.

Don't answer his question. Redirect to the one underneath it. You're not being cagey or difficult. You're being clear about what kind of answer makes sense.

Your reply should do two things. First, point out that the question assumes you've already defined things, which you haven't. Second, ask him what he wants the answer to mean. Is he asking because he wants to be exclusive? Is he asking because he's unsure about you? Don't make him explain himself in a way that feels like an interrogation. Just make it plain that 'are you seeing other people' is only a fair question if you've already agreed on what you are to each other.

Write your reply when you're not angry. Send it during the day. If he responds by avoiding the real question again, you have your answer. Avoidance is the answer.

Don't follow up three times. Don't soften it. Don't send a second message explaining what you meant. If he comes back with 'I just want to know' or 'why are you making this complicated', that's him telling you he wants the benefit of a relationship without doing the work of one. At that point, you either accept that or you don't. But you don't fix it with a better text.