What to do when he asks personal questions but never remembers

When someone asks the same question twice, it signals something. He might be disorganized and forgetful with everyone. More often, though, it means you're not interesting enough to him to remember. That sounds harsh, but people remember the things they care about. They remember what a person they're into told them last week.

The pattern also tells you something about effort. Real interest involves actual work. It means putting in mental energy, maybe even writing something down. If he's asking the same thing twice, he's not doing that work. Test this by seeing how he responds when you call it out.

When he asks something he's already asked, say it directly. Don't joke around it or cushion it. Something simple like "I already told you this" or "We talked about this last week" does the job. The goal is to make the lapse visible to him in real time, not to let it pass unnoticed.

Then wait. A person who cares will feel a bit sheepish and ask you to tell him again, or he'll apologize and make a mental note. Someone who doesn't care much will brush it off or change the subject fast. His reaction tells you what you need to know about where you sit in his priorities.

Don't rack up three or four instances and then bring it up like a grievance. The moment he asks something you already answered, that's when you say something. Early feedback is less loaded and easier for him to hear without getting defensive.

If it keeps happening after you've pointed it out once, that's your answer. He's not going to change because he doesn't think it matters. After the second repeat, you have what you need. Stop waiting for a pattern to become undeniable and start deciding if this is someone you want to invest in.