Ask what he's looking for without sounding unsure

When someone responds vaguely or doesn't ask you back what you're looking for, it often means he hasn't thought about it clearly, he's talking to multiple people, or he's unsure how you'll react. This is useful information. His answer, or lack of one, tells you whether he's someone who thinks ahead or someone who takes things as they come. Both are fine, but they're different.

If he's already asked you what you want, you're in a good spot. He's thinking about compatibility. If he hasn't, asking first puts you in control of the conversation and makes him respond to your frame instead of the other way around.

The move is to ask from a place of knowing what you want, not from a place of hoping he wants it too. You can be light about it, but make it clear you've thought about this. Say something that hints at your own direction: 'I'm trying to figure out if we're looking for the same thing' or 'want to know if we're on the same page.' This does two things. One, it makes you sound stable and intentional. Two, it gives him permission to be honest because you're not setting a trap.

Don't ask the question and then wait for him to decide if you're compatible. You do that part.

Asking on message one looks premature and reads like you're running through a checklist. Wait until you've traded at least a few messages and there's a hint of real conversation. This way it doesn't feel random. The question lands better when there's context.

If he doesn't answer within a day or two, don't send a follow-up. If someone can't or won't answer a straightforward question early on, that's your answer. Move on to someone else. Don't keep texting someone who's ignoring the basics. You'll know fast if this person is willing to communicate.