Tell her you want reciprocal effort, not one-sided investment

Someone who invests shows up in small ways. She replies within a reasonable window. She asks you things. She makes plans or suggests a next step. She remembers details you've told her. She doesn't just respond to you, she initiates.

If you're always the one texting first, if conversations die unless you revive them, if she cancels or reschedules without offering another time, if she gives one-word replies to your real questions, she's not investing. This doesn't mean she's a bad person. It means she's not that interested in building something with you. The sooner you read that clearly, the sooner you can stop spending energy on someone who isn't spending any on you.

Your reply needs to name the thing without sounding transactional. Instead of saying 'I need you to text back faster,' you might reference a pattern you've noticed and what you need from someone you're exploring this with. The move is to be honest about what matters to you, specific enough that she knows what you mean, and loose enough that she doesn't feel accused.

You're also testing her response. Does she get defensive? Does she try to explain herself? Does she meet you somewhere? Does she disappear? All of that tells you what you need to know. You're not trying to convince her to change. You're trying to find out if she's capable of matching you.

Send this when you're calm and clear, not when you're frustrated or testing her. Give her at least 24 to 48 hours to respond. If she doesn't, you have your answer. If she does, watch whether her actions shift or whether she just says the right thing and goes back to the same pattern.

Don't send multiple versions of this conversation. Don't bring it up again if she doesn't change. One clear statement is enough. After that, you're looking at what she actually does, not what she says. If you're still the only one reaching out, still the only one planning, still waiting for her to show up, that's when you stop.