How to respond when he asks what would make you want to date him
Smart ways to reply when a guy asks what it takes to date you. Show interest without over-explaining or playing games.
When a man asks what would make you want to date him, he's checking in. He wants to know what matters to you, or he's uncertain and looking for direction. Either way, this question is an opening. A good reply doesn't just list requirements. It shows you have standards, gives him something real to work with, and keeps the conversation moving forward instead of stalling on theory.
Most people treat this like a job interview. You're not supposed to hand him a checklist or get defensive about why he's asking. You're also not supposed to dodge or go vague. A solid reply does three things at once. It answers honestly, it shows what you actually value in dating, and it invites him to show you those things rather than just claim them.
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Try for freeWhat he's actually asking and why
This question usually means he's interested but wants to understand your expectations. He's not always being lazy or manipulative. Sometimes he's just trying to figure out if you two are on the same page before he invests more energy. Read it as a positive sign. He's checking in instead of just assuming.
The trap is treating his question like it's a problem to solve. It's not. He's asking you to be real about what matters to you in dating. That's a low bar to clear. He's giving you room to be honest. Most guys don't ask this. When they do, they're usually open to hearing it.
How a good reply actually works
Your reply needs to do two things. First, give him one to three actual signals of what you're looking for. Not qualities you think sound good. Things you actually notice and care about. Second, frame those things in terms of actions or presence, not just traits. Don't just say 'sense of humor.' Say what makes you laugh or what that looks like.
The second move is to leave room for him to show you those things going forward. Don't make it sound like a test he's already failing. The question is partly a prompt to date him better, so your answer should let him know what direction to move in.
Timing and what comes next
Send your reply within a few hours if you're interested. If you wait too long, he'll either move on or assume you're not keen. Keep it short. Don't overthink. This isn't a deep relationship talk. It's a text exchange.
After you reply, give him space to respond or take action. If he goes quiet, wait a day or two before you follow up. If he says something like 'Got it' and keeps texting normally, he heard you and is probably adjusting his approach. If the conversation dies, that's information too. Some guys ask this question to seem thoughtful but aren't actually ready to show up differently. If that happens, move on.
Why these replies fail
“I don't really have a type, just someone who treats me well and is fun to be around”
Too generic. He already knows that. It doesn't give him anything real to work with or show.
“What would make YOU want to date ME? Sounds like you should already know the answer to that”
Deflects instead of answering and comes across as defensive or annoyed, which kills his momentum.
“Honestly? Someone who has their life together, makes decent money, is emotionally mature, doesn't play games, and can actually hold a conversation. Is that you?”
Reads like a job posting. It's accusatory and puts him on trial instead of just telling him what you value.
Common mistakes
- Listing demands like a resume ('financially stable, tall, knows how to communicate')
- Getting defensive or turning it into a joke to avoid a real answer
- Being so vague it gives him nothing to go on ('just someone nice')
- Flipping it back on him without answering ('what would make you want to date me?')
- Over-explaining or writing a paragraph when a sentence would do
Questions people ask
- Should I just give him a straight answer or keep it playful?
- Straight answer works better here. He's asking a real question, so a real answer shows you're interested and thoughtful. You can be warm or have a light tone, but dodging with humor usually backfires. He'll just ask again or assume you're not keen.
- What if I don't actually know what I'm looking for yet?
- That's fine to say. You can tell him you're not sure yet but you know it when you see it. You can also mention what you've noticed you liked about past connections or what matters to you right now. Honesty beats made-up criteria every time.
- Is it bad if my answer sounds too demanding?
- Depends on what you said. Having standards isn't demanding. Listing 10 requirements or tone policing his behavior is. Keep it to a few real things. If he can't step up to basic expectations, that tells you something. That's the point.
- What if he doesn't actually do any of the things I mentioned?
- That's useful information. He either can't or won't, which means he's not the right fit. You told him what matters. If nothing changes, believe it. Don't keep waiting or explaining it differently.
What people say after using WingAI
“I was skeptical at first. Then I tried it on a dry chat and the replies actually sounded like me, not a chatbot.”
Mazoonx
“Used it for a couple hours and set up a date the same night. Not even kidding.”
Nikola2214
“She went cold mid-week and I had no idea what to say. The reply I sent felt natural and she picked the chat back up.”
Marcus T.
Get replies that sound like you
Screenshot the conversation in WingAI. It reads the vibe and gives you natural replies for this exact situation.
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