How to reply when he says he's bad at texting
He admits he's never been good at texting. Here's how to respond in a way that keeps momentum going without letting excuses derail the connection.
When a guy tells you he's bad at texting, he's doing two things at once. He's signaling that texting bores him or makes him anxious, and he's also pre-emptively lowering your expectations so you won't get frustrated when his replies slow down or disappear.
This is different from him just being slow to text. He's naming it as a pattern. That matters because it tells you something about how he'll behave, but it doesn't tell you whether he actually wants to keep talking to you.
Your reply needs to do two jobs without being preachy or letting him off easy. You need to show you heard what he said, and you need to test whether he's willing to make an effort or whether this is already an excuse.
Get replies that sound like you
Screenshot the conversation in WingAI. It reads the vibe and gives you natural replies for this exact situation.
Try for freeLaziness disguised as a personality trait
Bad at texting is sometimes true. Some people find it tedious or stressful. But it's also a convenient disclaimer.
What matters here is not whether he's telling the full truth. What matters is whether he's willing to put in the minimum effort to keep things moving with you. If he wanted to talk to you, he'd figure out how. Men who are actually interested find ways around their texting limitations. They call. They suggest meeting up. They send voice notes. They do something other than announce a problem and wait for you to adapt.
So his statement isn't a fact you need to accept. It's a test of whether you'll make allowances for him.
Call him out by offering something better
A good reply shows you heard him, but immediately pivots to a solution that doesn't require him to change. This removes his excuse from the table.
You can say you get it or that you're not great at it either. Then name a concrete alternative to texting that keeps momentum going. Phone calls work. Video dates work. Actually meeting up sooner works best. The move is to say "I hear you, and here's what we do instead." This proves you're still interested and shows you won't let a texting problem become a connection problem. If he's actually interested, he'll take the out you're offering. If he isn't, he'll fade anyway, which is fine because you know now.
How long to wait before accepting disinterest
Send your reply within a few hours, while the conversation is still fresh. Don't wait overnight or overthink it.
If he doesn't respond to your suggestion for an alternative, give it two days. After that, he's not interested. His texting problem is not your problem to solve. Move on. If he does respond and suggests a call or a date, great. That's your signal that the texting admission was real but not a deal-breaker. If weeks pass and his texting stays sparse even after you've offered alternatives, you know what you're getting into. Make a choice based on that.
Why these replies fail
“Haha that's okay! I'm pretty patient and don't mind waiting for replies. Take your time.”
This removes all friction and gives him permission to deprioritize you, which he'll do because you just made it clear there are no consequences.
“No worries at all! Some of my best connections have been with people who aren't great at texting. Let's just see where this goes.”
You're reassuring him again and leaving the next move entirely up to him, which means you're hoping rather than testing.
“I get that. Honestly though texting is pretty important to me when I'm getting to know someone. Would love if you could make more of an effort.”
You're asking him to do the one thing he just said he's bad at, which shows you didn't hear what he was saying or don't believe it.
Common mistakes
- Reassuring him it's fine and that you'll understand his slow replies. This removes his reason to try.
- Launching into a long text about how texting matters to you. He already said he's bad at it, so length won't help.
- Asking him to get better without offering an alternative. Puts pressure on a thing he just said he struggles with.
- Ignoring the comment entirely and continuing as normal. Signals you're not taking his signal seriously.
- Matching his energy by saying you're bad at it too, then doing nothing to move the interaction forward.
Questions people ask
- Should I believe him when he says he's bad at texting?
- Maybe. Some people actually are. But it's also a common excuse for low interest. Don't spend time debating whether he's telling the truth. Instead, ask for something he can do well. If he won't meet you halfway with a phone call or earlier date, that's your answer about his interest level.
- How do I suggest an alternative without seeming too eager?
- Just propose it as casually as he brought up his texting problem. A simple "So should we call instead?" or "Want to grab coffee this week?" is enough. You're not asking for a favor. You're suggesting something that works better for both of you. That's normal.
- What if he agrees to call but then goes silent?
- That's him showing you his actual interest level without the texting excuse in the way. He can make a phone call if he wants to. He's choosing not to. Treat it the same as you would a texting fade. Don't follow up or try to keep it alive.
- Is it a red flag that he brought this up so early?
- Not necessarily. Some guys are just upfront about their communication style. But the pattern matters more than the announcement. If he says it and then proves he can make effort in other ways, it's not a flag. If he says it and then demonstrates that he can't or won't show up, that's your signal.
What people say after using WingAI
“My openers used to be boring. Now I reference something from her profile and people actually write back.”
Aiden K.
“I overthink every text. Having three options and picking the one that sounds like me cut that spiral short.”
Sam R.
“I was skeptical at first. Then I tried it on a dry chat and the replies actually sounded like me, not a chatbot.”
Mazoonx
Get replies that sound like you
Screenshot the conversation in WingAI. It reads the vibe and gives you natural replies for this exact situation.
Try for free