How to reply when he says feelings are growing but won't commit

He's told you something important, but he's also told you he's uncertain. That uncertainty is the actual message. People who want to commit know it. They might be scared, but they know the direction they want to go. When someone says 'feelings are growing' and then 'I don't know what that means,' he's signaling that emotions alone aren't pushing him toward a decision.

This matters because feelings can exist alongside avoidance. He can like you more and still not want the responsibility of a relationship. Your reply needs to acknowledge that liking someone more is not the same as choosing them.

A good reply here does two moves. First, it separates the feeling from the action. You can say something like 'that's good to know' without making it a big moment. Second, it asks a direct question about what he actually wants to do with that information. Does he want to stop seeing other people. Does he want to introduce you to friends. Does he want to define what you are.

Don't ask 'what does this mean to you.' Ask 'what do you want to do about it.' The first keeps him in his head. The second forces him to make a choice. He'll either step up or show you that his growing feelings don't translate to growing commitment.

Send your reply within a few hours if you can. Don't sit with it for a day. Then stop. Let him respond. This is where you'll get real information. Does he actually suggest something concrete. Does he go vague. Does he change the subject.

If he doesn't respond within 24 hours, that's an answer too. If he responds with another feeling confession instead of an action, you've learned what you need. You're not waiting forever here. Give him two rounds of real conversation to show you what his growing feelings actually mean in terms of what he's willing to do. After that, if nothing changes, you have your answer about his priorities.