Ask her to be exclusive without seeming desperate

If you're asking this question, she's probably sent mixed signals. She might say she likes you but won't mention exclusivity. She might still be active on dating apps. She might keep conversations light and dodge talk about the future. None of this happens by accident. When someone wants to stop seeing other people, they usually make that move without being asked, or they bring it up first. What her behavior is actually telling you: she's still evaluating. She may like you, but you haven't crossed the line where she wants to close other doors. This isn't something you did wrong. It's just information. Before you ask, prepare yourself for the answer to be no or "not yet." You need to be ready to hear that without getting angry or feeling guilty.

Your message has to accomplish two separate things, and both matter equally. First, it needs to say what you want without asking permission or apologizing. Don't phrase it as "Would it be weird if..." or "I don't know if this is too soon..." You're stating a preference, not requesting approval. Say what you want directly: you'd like her to stop exploring other options and focus on building something with you. Second, your message needs to give her a clear way to say no. Not by saying "but no pressure," which just cancels out your first point. Instead, acknowledge that you understand this might not be where she is yet. This shows you're confident enough to handle her answer either way. A draft works if someone reading it can't tell whether you're more afraid of rejection or being dismissed.

Send this after several weeks of steady contact and at least a handful of in-person dates. Don't send it late at night or right after a good date when emotions are running high. A regular afternoon or early evening works better. Give her two to three days to respond. If she doesn't answer after five days, send one follow-up message acknowledging that you know it's a big question and you're open to talking about it in person if that's easier. After that second message, stop. If she goes silent, she's given you an answer. You now know where she stands, and staying silent is often its own form of no. That clarity is what matters. You can either accept casual dating and keep seeing her, or you can decide that's not what you want and step back. Both are legitimate choices.